HAR to Heart: Boundaries for Advisors Who Care Too Much

Welcome to HAR to Heart: Building a Business That Loves You Back. This new series is for travel advisors who care deeply about their clients—and who are realizing that caring deeply and running yourself into the ground are not the same thing.

Travel advising attracts capable, resourceful people. The kind who take pride in being responsive. The kind who don’t want details missed. The kind who quietly pick up the slack because it feels easier than letting something fall apart.

But over time, those strengths can blur into overextension.

HAR to Heart explores the human side of running a travel business—the boundaries we hesitate to set, the money conversations that make us uncomfortable, the comparison spirals, the growth decisions, and the small structural shifts that change everything.

Each installment will pair honest reflection with practical steps you can use immediately. Because this isn’t about becoming less warm or less helpful. It’s about building systems strong enough to support your ambition—and your life.

You deserve a business that works for you, not one that depends on you being everything to everyone.

And sometimes, that starts with something as simple—and uncomfortable—as boundaries.

If you’ve ever answered a “quick question” at 9:47 p.m., rewritten a proposal three times because the client “just wanted to see a few more options,” or dropped everything because someone texted, “Are you there??”—you’re not alone.

Travel advising attracts people who are wired to help. You’re resourceful, responsive, and you genuinely care. That’s part of what makes you great at this job.

It’s also what can quietly turn your business into a 24/7 hotline.

If your business only works when you’re over-functioning, it doesn’t work.

Boundaries aren’t about becoming less helpful. They’re about delivering better service with fewer fires—and building a business that doesn’t depend on your constant availability to work.

This is a practical, non-cringy guide to setting boundaries that your clients will actually respect (and often appreciate).

First: Boundaries are a client experience tool, not a personality trait

Boundaries work best when they’re framed as how your process works–not as a list of rules.

Clients don’t need you on-call. They need:

Clear expectations
A reliable communication plan
A process that prevents problems
Support when it truly matters

When you set boundaries early, you’re not saying “don’t bother me.”

You’re saying, “Here’s exactly how I’ll take great care of you.”

The four boundary categories that fix most of the chaos

1) Time boundaries: when you respond (and what’s realistic)

Most client frustration doesn’t come from waiting. It comes from not knowing what to expect.

You don’t have to respond instantly—you need to be consistent.

Examples of time boundaries:

Office hours (even if you’re flexible behind the scenes)
Typical response window (e.g., within 1 business day)
Weekend policy
A “travel week” policy (when you’re attending events or traveling yourself)

What to remember:

If you respond at all hours, clients learn that all hours are normal.

2) Scope boundaries: what’s included (and what’s not)

Scope creep is real in travel advising. A client can unintentionally expand the workload with:

endless “just one more option” requests
research that isn’t tied to a booking decision
“can you price this random itinerary I found?” emails
friend-of-a-friend requests
multiple destinations with no stated budget

Scope boundaries make your business sustainable—and they make your expertise feel more valuable.

Examples of scope boundaries:

Limits on revisions (or how you handle revisions)
Parameters for proposals (budget, dates, must-haves required before you research)
What qualifies as “included support” vs. a planning fee / change fee
The difference between “planning” and “booking”

You’re not charging to be difficult. You’re charging because time is finite and your skill is worth paying for.

3) Communication boundaries: how you communicate (so nothing falls through cracks)

Clients love texting because it’s convenient for them. It can be a nightmare for documentation, supplier follow-up, and tracking details.

You don’t need to ban texting completely. You do need to decide what’s allowed where.

Examples of communication boundaries:

One primary channel (usually email) for approvals, documents, and decisions
Texting only for urgent travel-day issues
“One thread” policy: keep replies on the same email chain
Clear expectations for what you need in a message (dates, travelers, budget, deadline)

This isn’t about control—it’s about accuracy and results.

4) Travel support boundaries: what happens when they’re traveling

This is where many advisors quietly burn out: the belief that if a client is traveling, you must be available at all times.

You can provide excellent travel support without being the only lifeline.

Examples of travel support boundaries:

A clear “what counts as an emergency” definition
A plan for who to contact first (airline/hotel/onsite contact)
Your after-hours process (and what happens if you’re asleep)
A “travel support” document sent before departure

When clients know the plan, they panic less—and you get fewer frantic messages.

The simplest triage system: Emergency / Time-sensitive / Can wait

Here’s a framework you can use personally, and you can subtly train clients into it.

Emergency

A true emergency is time-critical and cannot be resolved without immediate action.

Examples:

A same-day cancellation that strands them
The hotel can’t find the reservation, and it’s after hours locally
A missed connection with no rebooking options

Time-sensitive

Important, but not “drop everything.”

Examples:

“We’re at the airport and want to confirm baggage rules”
“The transfer hasn’t arrived yet” (but still within a reasonable window)
“We need to confirm tomorrow’s excursion meeting point”

Can wait

Most messages fall here.

Examples:

“Can we move dinner to 7:30?”
“What’s the dress code for the restaurant?”
“Can you send us your thoughts on two resort options?” (while they’re already on a trip)

Your job isn’t to respond to everything immediately. Your job is to respond appropriately—and to build a business that doesn’t run on adrenaline.

Where boundaries should be set (so you don’t have to enforce them later)

The goal is to set expectations in writing before you need them.

These are the five best moments to do that:

Inquiry auto-reply or welcome email
Pre-consultation email / calendar invite
Planning fee / service agreement / invoice
Booking confirmation
Pre-travel email (7–10 days out)

If you wait until a problem happens to introduce a boundary, it feels personal.

If you set it upfront as part of your process, it feels professional.

Copy-and-paste boundary scripts you can actually use

Use these as-is, or tweak the tone to fit your brand.

1) Response time script (welcome email / signature / FAQ)

Response times

I respond to emails Monday–Friday during business hours and you can expect a reply within 1 business day. If you message over the weekend, I’ll respond the next business day.

2) “I’m happy to help—here’s what I need from you” script (stops vague requests)

I’d love to help with this. Before I start researching, can you send:

your travel dates (or date range)
number of travelers + ages (if kids)
your target budget (total or per person)
your top 3 priorities (e.g., beach, walkability, nonstop flight, all-inclusive, etc.)

Once I have those, I’ll put together options that actually fit.

3) Scope script for revisions (keeps proposals from turning into endless drafts)

I’m happy to refine what I’ve sent. To keep things efficient, I include one round of revisions based on your feedback. If you’d like additional options beyond that, I can absolutely do it—I’ll just send a quick link for my additional planning fee before I continue.

4) “That’s outside scope” script (without sounding harsh)

Great question—that’s not included in the services for this booking, but I can help. If you’d like me to take it on, I can do that as an add-on service. I’ll send the fee details and once it’s confirmed, I’ll get started.

5) Texting boundary script (friendly and clear)

Quick note on communication: texting is perfect for truly urgent travel-day issues. For approvals, documents, and trip changes, email is best so everything stays in one place and nothing gets missed.

6) After-hours travel support script (pre-travel email)

If something comes up while you’re traveling

For immediate needs, contact the airline/hotel directly first—they can usually resolve issues fastest in real time. If you still need me, email me with “URGENT” in the subject line and a short description of what’s happening. I’ll respond as soon as I’m able.

7) Out-of-office script that still feels premium (and prevents panic)

Thanks for your message—I’m out of the office and will reply on [DAY/DATE].

If you’re currently traveling and something is truly urgent, please email with “URGENT” in the subject line and include your full name + destination so I can prioritize appropriately.

The uncomfortable truth: boundaries improve your client quality

Advisors sometimes worry that boundaries will scare clients away.

They will. The wrong clients.

The clients who respect your time and value expertise will be relieved to see a clear process. It signals:

you’re organized
you’re experienced
you have systems
you’re not making it up as you go

Boundaries don’t make you less warm. They make you more credible.

And they give you back the energy you need to do the part of this job that actually grows your business: serving, selling, and building relationships—not managing chaos.